New Mom Moments is a new series where we feature real stories from new moms.
We sat down with Lo Schwei to discuss becoming a mom for the first time. In this interview, Lo will share some of the highs and lows she experienced in her first few months as a new mom.
How old is your baby? What is her name?
Kellan Allene is 9 weeks old :)
How did you choose her name?
I have loved the name Kellan for years and years - not sure where i heard it, but it was going to be her name regardless if she was a girl or boy LOL. I found the name Allene in a book i was reading on Kindle! It’s an old name from the 1920’s. I loved it and almost considered it to be her first name, but her dad liked Kellan better...and so did I in the end.
When did you find out you were pregnant? How did you find out?
I will never forget-I found out on the 4th of July last year (after drinking all day!) I took a test- I hadn’t been feeling sick or nauseous or anything, but my period had been really weird the last month and hadn’t really shown up-just some light spotting. I didn’t want to take a test because I just thought I was really stressed, etc. I had been interviewing for a new job and thought there was no way. The guy I had been seeing at the time brought me the tests actually and insisted I take them. When the first one was positive, I took a bunch more including an electronic one and could not believe it. I still have the picture of me holding 3 positive tests, all different kinds, just looking at the camera shocked. I sent it to my coworker, the only person I had told about taking the tests and she didn’t believe me. She thought I found the images on Google. haha!
How did you react when you found out you were going to be a mom?
I laughed at first because it was so unplanned and ridiculous and so unlikely (seriously. There were only two days in which she could have been conceived and it happened on one of those.) Then I cried and cried and cried some more. I was very upset. I was not married and had just broken up with the baby’s dad. I was freaking out because my family is very traditional- you get married, then have a baby- and this wasn’t in ‘my plan’. I also didn’t know what I was going to do because the dad and I weren’t together. I knew it was going to be hard and I was completely overwhelmed. I knew abortion was never for me, and definitely considered adoption. But... I didn’t know if I could carry a baby for 9 whole months and not fall in love with her.
Which I completely did.
My attitude changed throughout my pregnancy and I got more and more excited. Plus added support from friends and family for my single mom self really helped.
How did you share the news with your family?
I told my mom 2 days after I found out. I was freaking out. She immediately said she loved and supported me. Then I told my dad. He was ok at first but then said some rude things, which is unfortunate. I told other family members, who were surprised, but overall everyone showed love and support. It got more exciting and real when I saw her on the ultrasound for the first time, moving around like a bouncing gummy bear. After that, I had more fun revealing the gender (icing filled cupcakes) with family and friends :)
What is the most exciting part about being a new mom?
My favorite part is how she responds to me. When she sees me in the morning and smiles so big. It just melts my heart!! I love seeing how her dad and also my family loves her so well too. Also THE CLOTHES. Oh my word!!!!! She is like my own little doll to dress up and I’m obsessed with the baby fashion and putting together her outfits.
What was the most surprising part of being pregnant?
How much everything changes!! Literally everything. Your body, your habits, your friends. I hated being pregnant- I was super uncomfortable all the time. I was not aware that it would be miserable. LOL. It was also surprising what your body is capable of. My birth story isn’t bad by any means but the human body is a machine. I was floored.
What is the best advice you received as a new mom?
That no one child is alike. What works well for someone else may not work for you, and that’s ok. But that every new mom has probably had the same thoughts that I’ve had at some point. It’s ok to not love every single aspect of being a mom and its ok to want or need space sometimes. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t admit that. I have had other moms make me feel bad for not taking my child everywhere with me or not wanting her everywhere. Of course I love my daughter and miss her when I’m at work but on maternity leave? Yeah I needed a break. Just like sometimes you need some time to yourself, no matter where you’re at in life. And you don’t need to apologize for that.
Just a few days after Kellan’s birth I was hit with the baby blues so, so bad. The worst I have ever felt in my life. I was scared and sad and couldn’t stop crying. So being told that that is more common than that not happening was a relief to hear.
Being a new mom can be exciting, overwhelming and sometimes a little lonely. This new blog series from Under the Nile is designed to showcase real stories from new moms. Twice a month, we will introduce you to a new mom and give you an inside look at her world. Our goal is to add a little inspiration to your already busy lives. Check back regularly to explore more stories from new moms.